I am no more.

i used to keep myself very tigh, i scared of ppl looking cheap on me, i scared i behave wrongly, but i start to dun care now. i do thing that ppl would look down on...yes, this is me now...i still work hard though :)

My New Year Wish

My BD wish is to be with you. I still keep my wish and i wish it to come true. But this new year wish, i just wish to be happy with no worry and scareness. I am on my feet. It has been hard just a week to wait, and i dun want to hide myself in the room and feel bad. I got to get up and see the world. I will just do anything that make me happy for its sake. I dun want to care too much now... My wish is still my wish, and i keep wishing it, but at the same time i promise myself to be happy...If my wish is magic, I will still get it no matter what...So let see what will be happening... Dun blame me of being bad, i am just too lonely to be alone...

Eye Shaking

erm...not sure if it is the correct term to use, but if u are Cambodian u would understand...hehe...Well, it has been a few days that my eyes keep shaking alot more than normal. People say it is bad sign, some say it is good sign...So..erm...let see what will happen. I might be travelling to province this evening, anyway ....

No Goal

I have always been the person who set the goal or destination, and keep myself on track to achieve it. I have been using this word "Define your goal and pave the way to reach it". It was pretty successful so far i.e. to get scholarship, to get back to work in cambodia,...and many more...

But now i am completely lost in a deep blue sea. I dun know what is my goal now, should i be doing what ? I am lost, totally lost...I lost my goal, and i do not know if what i am doing is for what. is it the correct track ? i dun now... this make me lose the desire to do and to love what i am doing now... Now is asking myself, if i succeed in what i am doing now, do i achieve a goal ??? wonder....

3 consecutive bad dreams in one night.

3 dreams for last night :

- I am sorry to say that i dreamt one of my in-law relative pass away in a very sadly.
- I dreamt as i got knocked by another car while i was parking.
- Third one is like in the movie ( i din watch movie lolz). Like i went into a gym place, then accidentally i cause the electricity cut down. So everywhere was black out and cause the flying balloon swinging around and fall down. i was so terrified to see many ppl fall down and died coz of my act...I was more more than sorry for that...If that really happen, i would never forgive myself...

Well Well, wish all those would not happen...

Song i am signing now - Take me to your heart

Hiding from the rain and snow
Trying to forget but I won't let go
Looking at a crowded street
Listening to my own heart beat
So many people all around the world
Tell me where do I find someone like you girl
[Chorus]
Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand before I'm old
Show me what love is - haven't got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true
They say nothing lasts forever
We're only here todayLove is now or never
Bring me far away
Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand and hold me
Show me what love is - be my guiding star
It's easy take me to your heart
Standing on a mountain high
Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky
I should go and see some friends
But they don't really comprehend
Don't need too much talking without saying anything
All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing
[Chorus]

Bad news around still

i woke up my my collegue's call... i never believe he would call me this early...he called me to take back his camera and with a bad news that his father in law pass away last night while i was having bad dream...i was stunned to hear this...I am really sorry to hear this...will travel to join his funeral after writing this...

Last night

I slept at around 3am last night. When half a sleep half awake, i felt i totally lost my memory. I dun know who i am, i dun know where i work for, i dun know anybody even her. She walked pass by me, but i was just feeling that i used to know her but wasn't sure if it is her. I was scared, i was in horror, i was somewhere in the deep blue sea...i was afraid of everything around me. I was trying to open my eyes but still, i could not totally open it...i dun know if i was asleep, but i think i wasn't...Well, i dun know...it just terrify me...i am scared i will lose my memory as last night...hopefully, i will not.

i am surviving in a disform mood, i can't concentrate, i can't do anything right...my body is arching. i dun live in a heathly lifestyle...i am doing excercise which is good, but i dun eat after that, i just went straight to have drink, morning, i din eat but went straight to drank coffee...let see how long can i survive with all these...

I wanna be bad, i wanna be dirty, i wanna be someone that i never put myself to. but i am not in the mood to do it now ... Wish i can forget everything and start with a dirty lifestyle ... i wanna everybody say i am bad, i am stupid, i dun like my life now...

Well, just a writing.

bla bla....

bla bla bla blahb labh blha bla blha bloah lbah labhl bal labh bla blah lbah labh lhbalh bahlbahladhav bla blaj lba l abl b la bla bal bal allb balbal bal bal bal bal bal bla lba lbal labl lbal lbal labl bla lab labl abl lbal bal blla bal bal lbal blal bal bla bal balbal bal bal balb bla bla bal bala balb bal bal lbal lba lbal bal lba lbal laabl bal bal bal bal bal bla bla bla lba lbal bla balb alba labl bal bal bla bla lbal bal bla lbal lbal lbal bla lbal lbal bla lbla bla lbal bal bla bla ...

look ? ..i was trying to write the word bla...but see how many can i get it correctly ? ...hum...i have been using computer for 8 years..but i can't get my fingure to type correctly..m i a poor typer or my mind just could not be controlled ? ....

well think i want to write one story, but surely i will not put it up here...lolz....well, i dun know what i am talking about now...nonsense....sleep sleep..whathanak......